Am I A Blogger?

The title of this post represents a question I've asked myself many times before. I admit, I've never put it into those exact terms until this morning. (Which is Sunday morning by the way. I'm getting a jump on tomorrow's work.) However, the question has been there floating in the back of my mind since I first heard of people “blogging”. (I put it in quotation marks because when I first heard the term it seemed to need them, lol.) When faced with this question directly there seems a single, inescapable answer: No, I'm not.

Don't get me wrong, I have nothing against blogging. I'm just not a blogger. At least not yet. It seems to me that blogging is a natural extension of keeping a journal, which is something I've never done. I've just never had much interest in cataloging my day to day life in a notebook. Why not? Well, it's not because I haven't had an interesting and exciting live, the Lord has given me plenty of adventure and excitement and really a spectacular life. However, he's also given me a fantastic memory regarding experiences that I've personally gone through. I've never kept a journal because I've never felt the need. I remember the exciting things from my life back to when I was around four years old.

Still, the fact is that the farther you get from an experience the less perfect your memories may become. And ship Captains keep the most painstaking logs of the most seemingly humdrum events. So, really it's probably better if I take the time to keep a record of what's going on around me. It's liable to prove interesting reading to me and my family in the future (if not to others). At it's base it's just a good idea to keep a personal logbook.

Of course, another thing that's been holding me back is that I don't like giving the world open insight into my personal life. Why? Well, it's not because I'm embarrassed or have anything to hide. In truth, the exact opposite is true. I'm a completely open book. If you want to know something just ask, I'll be glad to tell you. In point of fact, in days past people didn't even need to ask. I would very voluntarily tell them everything that was going on with me and my family whether or not they wanted to know. As a result I was accused of being an arrogant braggart by some of those closest to me. (Not directly to my face mind you, but I often heard it through the grape vine, lol.)

Now, I have thick skin. Crazy thick skin. In fact, I'm almost numb to personal affronts, especially from people who love me and aren't trying to hurt me. So, for years I did nothing about it. I just continued “being me”. Well, in time I realized that even if they were wrong and that I was neither arrogant nor a braggart I was still a bore. Most people didn't want to hear what was going on with me. They didn't care. And really why should they? How could my life affect theirs?

On the other hand, I really do care about what's going on with them. In truth, I just like good news and I like to try to help if there is bad news. So, I find interest in most of what's going on in other people's lives. The exception is bad news that I can't do anything about. Whenever possible I avoid that like the plague. It only makes me feel sympathy and frustration, which are feelings I don't enjoy.

Either way, the point is: As people weren't interested in what I was doing, but I was interested in them, I started trying to listen more than talk. Now, the few people reading this have just burst out laughing, but it's the plain simple truth. Life is a road (actually life is many, many roads) and we're all at different places. I'm a very good listener compared to where I started. And I talk a great deal less about myself than I used to. This is one of the things that keeps me from wanting to blog.

The fact is that I lead an awesome life. So, when I talk about it I look like a braggart. I built a giant house out in the country for my large family. Now, when I tell the story (much less record its day to day ins and outs) how can I help looking bad? What are people's reactions? “Oh yea! You're building a giant two-story house! Of course you are!!” or “Sure you've got land in the country and a big tractor with a back hoe and front end loader!” or “Just keep having kids, I guess you can afford them!” or “Oh so you're a network engineer, a computer programmer, a carpenter, a roofer, a drywall man, a painter, etc, etc, etc?” You can laugh, but that is really how a lot of people feel. If things are going good for you and you share them then you're bragging.

On the other hand, what if things aren't going so well? For instance both our house and single-wide are being repossessed (in fact the single-wide already has been). If you share that with people you get: “Oh, you think you've got problems, you just don't know!” or “Poor baby! Lost his ivory back scratcher!” And if you're optimistic about it and believe God is in control and that it is all for the best (as we do) you get: “Oh yes! Your faith is so great you ought to be able to walk on water!”

Now, I'm not over-thinking this. The Lord has given me a number of talents and abilities. (Is your arrogance detector going off yet?) One of those is the gift of Observation. Not only do I see, but in many, many cases I observe. (Is it going off now?) People's reactions to my talking about myself have rarely been very positive (unless they were complete strangers) and have often left me feeling very negative about myself. (To a certain extent I have often been left feeling like an arrogant braggart.) Needless to say, this hasn't encouraged me to talk about myself or what's going on with me. However, that's what blogging is really all about.

I've been asked by a number (a very small number) of people to keep blogging. So, I'm going to. However, I'm going to begin to put more of myself in it than I have up to this point. (Just as I have in this post and the one before it.) Those people who think I'm an arrogant braggart don't need to read it. It's not for them.

Now, all that having been said, once we're doing things of more general interest, like visiting Dominica, the format of the blog will go back to a kind of “travel record” as it was before. Of course, some people will also see that as bragging. Well, tough... They don't have to read it. We also hope to go Scotland soon (as soon as we've got the money) and spend a few months there. Talking about it and posting pictures may seem like bragging, but it's going to be interesting nonetheless, lol.

All this probably seems like it's focused on me. The reason for that is simple: it is. It's my blog. I reject the idea that having a blog makes you an arrogant braggart. So, if you read this expect to find my thoughts, feelings, and experiences. That's kind of the point of it.

That's enough for now. Yea, there are no pictures. Rachel said that when I put pictures in I should talk about them. So, I'm probably going to have “About the pictures” posts and “About life” posts. This was an “About Life” post. I hope you enjoyed it, lol. For now, goodnight from South Carolina!